Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Just in time for Valentine's Day

This morning on the train I was blessed to witness a conversation between a girlfriend/boyfriend about going home to visit her parents over the Valentine's Day weekend. It went a little something like this:

Boy (ed note: NOT attractive in the least, which makes this story even more unbelievable): I'd really like to spend some alone time with your parents this weekend, it sucks your sister's got to be there.
Girl: Well, she's going to be, and I'd like you to be nice. It's Valentine's Day, where else is she supposed to go?
Boy: I don't know, it's not my problem. How about on a DATE?
Girl: You know she's not dating anyone.
Boy: Yeah, exactly, because she's a psycho. She needs to be in therapy.
Girl: She's not a psycho, she's just single.
Boy: Right, exactly my point. Anyone who's hasn't been on more than 5 consecutive dates in FIVE years obviously has a problem.
Girl: It hasn't been five years. And plus, before I met you, I hadn't dated in a while.
Boy: Yeah but you were right out of school. You were 24. She's TWENTY-NINE.
Girl: It's different in New York, she just hasn't found anyone she likes.
Boy: Yeah because she's a P-S-Y-C-H-O. Anyway, I'm going to make a reservation for the four of us for Sunday dinner. Us and your parents.
Girl: You have to include her, that's rude.
Boy: I don't have to do anything. She's not my problem.

This is real life people. As I'm standing there trying to decide how to respond to this A-Hole's sweeping generalization of late-twenty single women on Valentine's day, I kept being knocked down by his blatant disrespect for his own girlfriend. First I looked at him, hoping to communicate disgust, pity and anger. Then I looked at her hoping to say: Your boyfriend is the king of D-Bags and I hope you flee this excuse for a relationship as soon as humanly possible. And lastly, to all my suitors out there, please take note of this undeniably romantic (and fun!) vacation said D-Bag boyfriend is planning. If all you singles could be so lucky.

8 comments:

April said...

Wow. What. Is. She. Doing. With. Him. Restraining myself from using caps lock.

April said...

When I wrote that last response my word verification was "doushi." I swear - you can't make this stuff up.

Doom For Darlings said...

This couple sounds like my neighbors. I still don't understand how these relationships happen. Spending Valentine's Day single just got sweeter.

Mamameldog said...

what is wrong with youth today? where has the romance gone? dang!

Pat said...

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minus five said...

what a freakin' loser. i bet her sister hates his guts. and anyway, who's like, "i want to spend more alone time with your parents"?

Aimee Sicuro said...

What a total loser. Being single in NYC is the rule not the exception. Especially when smart, successful, beautiful women in the city are faced with dating duds like this one. Ugh.

Liz said...

uggggghhhhhhhh. that is all from 31 year old single liz.