Friday, December 11, 2009

Poofy coats and other stuffed winterwear

I lived in New York for three long winters on a vintage (read: old and dirty with broken buttons) JCrew coat and various felt-like insulation models. Last year I broke down and invested in a knee-length double-lined grey poofy coat (with hood!) from Brooklyn Industries. It is not flattering. It is not fashionable. It is the warmest piece of outerwear I own.

In my immediate vicinity on the train 15 out of 18 people are wearing poofy coats. Riding the train with the poofy coat can go either way. On one hand you are basically in a cream puff force field of heat which is very beneficial when you are positioned near small children in strollers or sleeping homeless (?) adults with a twitch. On the other hand, you are encased in your own personal thermos, have virtually no sex appeal and take up a third more surface area when sitting, a very touchy subject to the personal space conscious. But bottom line you are warm/sweating so when you exit the train and are hit with below zero windchill straight out of Lucifer's bedroom, you're mostly happy. For about 30 seconds until your face freezes off.

While some weaker souls could make the same argument for the UGG boot, I have yet to crumble to their stylistic level. To me, UGGs are worse than Crocs. They are completely devoid of personality. They are the poor man's athletic sneaker with nude pantyhose. Yet they are lined with the synthetic fur of a sheep. You don't care if you step in a huge icy puddle of mud mixture. You could also take out someone's kneecaps in one swift kick. Will this be the year I cover my entire body in padding?

For now I will relish in my choice of survival over style while maintaining a firm position on shapeless boots. However, if I'm not lounging on a beach somewhere with a fruity cocktail in the midst of early retirement in three years, I might become on of the converted.

2 comments:

Mamameldog said...

and don't forget the flannel sleepset!

minus five said...

dude--i'm with you on this one. even though i always choose comfort over fashion. my legs nearly fell off it was so cold yesterday. i don't think i've ever had to pull it out before january, but i definitely had my full-length down poofy on today.

it's like a giant sleeping bag. even better, it's one of those tall sizes for tall people b/c my mom bought it and she continues to think i'm giant enough to require tall. so really, mine is almost down to my ankles. huge. i look like that kid on "a christmas story." or kenny from south park. and mine has a big poofy hat that allows no peripheral vision.

i had a face mask once, but i bought it in green and looked like a turtle head and for some reason that stopped me from wearing it outside. i might need to bring it back. that's all.